I took a small hiatus from writing. I needed to focus on my healing a little more than I had been. But as always, I've been learning. So, let's talk communication.
From my last post until this morning, I woke up this morning to a friend request 17 from a man I didn't know. The youngest of these men was a 27-year-old who honestly took the rejection a lot better than most men my own age. I applaud his parents for how he was raised. A year ago, I would have been fearful of not responding to each one, and I would have also felt like a jerk for not responding. Two years ago, I would have reacted like they were all demons. But friend request number 17 sits in my request box with numbers 1-16, and I have no plans to accept any of them.
Why talk about them when I talk about communication? Because each one of them tried. Communication isn't perfect and definitely isn't easy, and rarely goes the way we want it to when we are reaching out of our comfort zone. But each one of them took that scary first step. My step of not responding is also allowed.
Sometimes we put our feet in our mouths, and sometimes we stay silent out of fear of rejection, anger, or even disgust. Each reaction or nonreaction is communication in some way, shape, or form. But we have the prerogative to respond or not, however we want. My mind is constantly moving and sometimes I say what I want and sometimes I stay silent and the cards fall where they will, but when I do so with an open mind and a gentle heart, then the cards will fall where they are meant to.
I don't believe in acting duplicitously, and I don't believe in lying, which God knows has definitely gotten me in trouble, but in my interactions, you will always get honesty. Am I perfect? Far from it, but I will be loved by the right people for everything I am and not for something I pretend to be.